Since the dawn of civilization, humankind has grappled with many poignant philosophical questions. Mainly the humankind rich enough to not be thinking of starvation instead, but the point stands. Deep, inescapable ponderings such as "What is our purpose in life?", "Why should we go on living?", and "Why do kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?" I don't pretend to have the answers to such questions. Except of course: Because there's cinnamon sugar swirls in every bite. That…is why we should go on living. But there is a far more important question that I'm here to answer today. And that question is…Which Link is the Stinkiest?
'Tis a question that has plagued The Legend of Zelda franchise, since the ancient days when Plato challenged Aristotle to beat his high score at Link's Crossbow Training. Adventuring is smelly work! You think the Hero of Time stopped by CVS to nab a stick of Cool Rush deodorant? No! That dude literally aged seven years without stopping to sleep! Or eat. But this isn't Which Link is the Most Malnourished, so let's stop stalling and settle the stench subject!
The Legend of Zelda
The first game doesn't have much in the way of odorous occurrences, but you can be swallowed by a Like-Like. These counter-intuitively named monstrosities are like short fat worms that digest your shield and spit you up like used chewing gum. But this isn't the only appearance of Like-Likes, and more importantly, getting caught by one isn't guaranteed. If a player was better at the game than you, Kevin, then you might complete your whole adventure with nary a single torturous tummy tour. This makes Like-Likes a Quantum Stink Event, and I'm not qualified to evaluate those until I complete my Master's. Doesn't count!
Plus, this is back when the Like-Likes look-looked like forbidden pancakes rather than an oozing intestine.